Bitter Sweet

Going through this process is simply increadible, I'm sure it's the same for any couple planning to start their family. Thinking up meaningful and adorable names, swearing you'll never make your baby wear the same horrible thing your parents made you wear, cooing over baby toys and checking safety standards on the newest high chairs. It all just takes over your life, but in an exciting and fun way.

Then you stop and think, you worry about the horrible people in the world, the state of the nation, the economy, failing schools and abismal health care. All parents worry about these things, vague fears becoming real through the eyes of your unborn (in our case unconceived) child.

Finally you realize you have to worry about hiring a lawyer to assure your wife will be considered the childs parent, because in this state she is not allowed to be on his/her birth certificate, because she cannot legally adopt her own child. You worry what will happen if you are gone and your child needs to go to the hospital, will they allow your wife to make emergency medical desions? Who will claim our child on our single filed taxes, since we cannot legally marry, therefor we cannot file together? Will our family and friends look for signs in OUR child's face of the sperm donor? Will they treat my wife as a mother, or "other gaurdian"?

Not all couples have to face these issues, these worries, these sleepless nights. Not all couples have to be terrified that another hateful law will be passed that could rip their family apart. Our family is not different from any other family. We have the same expectations, fears, hopes and dreams for our soon to be child. But we face crushing injustice every day, we fight hate with every expression of love. We face these challenges because it is the only option we have, because our love outweighs the hate.

I hope that some of the straight couples out there will take a moment to realize how special their freedom to express their love is. How similar we all are. And perhaps even take the chance to open your hearts to a family like ours, to reach a hand out in acceptance, to take a moment to let love over come hate. And eventually, stories like mine will fade into history.